For me, rape is in the same category as drugs, alcohol, tobacco and public health. The health, mental and behavioral issues that come with rape are as important and serious as the consequences of drugs, it is mortal.
Lately, I have been seeing a lot of rape news on social media and I am always curious to read about the thousands of stories that never make the first page. I want to know what happened and search for it. As a Woman, I have to know where, how, why things happened.
I have to know when to stop drinking because a man would possibly ignore my “NO”. As a Woman I can’t stay in the library late because I don’t know if someone would attack me on the park; as a Woman I have to avoid short clothing even though, is a hot day, so I don’t get the wrong attention; as a Woman I have to make myself pretty so I get the promotion I so much deserved; as a Woman I have to be quiet and listen to a man’s opinion first and then speak; as a woman I have to hear “she was looking for it” on the train and do nothing, even though the only thing I wanted to do was beat the man up and tell him “ You were looking for it”.
I don’t see myself as a feminist, I do not fight the cause against sexism towards women publicly. But I do fight it on my quotidian because I was born a woman. I get disgusted, I get worried and when I forget I am a woman I get afraid because there is always someone that is going to remind me. As a woman, I live with so many “what if’s”; what if I go to the club and someone grabs me? What if I take the shorter way which is darker and someone comes at me? What if I am not taken seriously in a dominant male work environment? What if I am not able to defend my little sister and protect her from this sexist world?
Society scares me and what scares me the most is that not only men speak of those animal acts as if it was the victim’s fault, women do also. I have heard and argued with women because they justify those with the common phrase; “ I think that is horrible but…” , why are you saying the “but”? There are no buts, it is because of your “but”, his “but” that we all face danger every day and sometimes we don’t even realise it because we are women.
People say they have common sense, but is ignoring a “NO” common sense? Is living in a society that instead of protecting us abuses us, common sense?
Rape culture comes from education, parents, teachers and the government have to educate young boys and young girls that no one should ever touch each other without consent.